Change changing places

Blogging is becoming harder to do.  I didn’t start it for me to have a place to complain about everything.  I’ve always felt like I had a lot of information in my head and thought I could spit out something valuable every now and then.

So I’ve started a personal journal somewhere else that I’m going to use to complain about my life and use this for something more.

I also would like to go back and start writing some articles on LinkedIn about leadership.  The hard part is figuring out what I’ve already posted.  I’m sure I can put out repeating articles if there’s a year or two between them.

Writing is what keeps me sane.  My lack of writing about everything has caused a stroke in my soul.  I’ve got to figure out how to unclog the blockage.

Hopefully, these changes will help.

MJDB

Feeling stronger every day.

The stress has turned around.  The back pain hasn’t gone away, but I realized that part of my problem is that I feel like I’m constantly being criticized and not getting much appreciation.

Is it true? I don’t know, but that’s what I’ve been feeling.

My body hurts, and I’m told I can’t do very much because of it.  Vacation in New Orleans was a disaster because I couldn’t walk very far and had to use a cane.  I think it could have been so much better if I wasn’t in pain.

Thank goodness we didn’t go to San Francisco like I wanted. I would be twice as upset.

So now that I know the issue, it feels less of a problem.  I can convince myself that this is just pain, and it will go away eventually.

It’s less stressful knowing it’s my broken body and not my broken brain.

MJDB

The Blower’s Daughter

And so it is just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is the shorter story

It’s late.

This morning was full of anger.  Woke up with lots of back pain.  Once I got to work,  things started to settle down.  I’m thankful that my job involves mostly sitting.

Listened to some relaxing music before lunch. It’s not always easy to listen to music because there’s usually something going on around me. That’s what I get for sitting in chair #2.

Since Sunday, when I talked to my counselor, I feel a little bit better, this morning being an exception.

Mindfulness hasn’t been helping for a long time, but it’s working better now.  I can remember how to relax.

MJDB

Something better.

I’m tired today and still complaining.  Cpap is supposed to help me sleep better, but I think my physical pain is keeping me awake.

I don’t really want this blog to be all about my problems, but it seems that’s all I have lately. Pain causing depression causing lack of focus causing me to play video games till its bed time.   I guess this is me now.

I went back to talking to my counselor again, and I felt okay for a little bit.  But I woke up angry again.  Something has changed, and I need to figure out how to change it back or change it to something better.

Suppose it should be something better.

MJDB